He doesn’t want sex. She’s trying everything she possibly can to get him in the mood, but nothing seems to make a bit of a difference. Is there any hope for a situation like this?
When a woman speaks to me about her husband and tells me that he doesn’t want sex, I know that one of the biggest concerns in her mind is if she’s going to spend the rest of her life without ever making love again.
Some people advise women in sexless marriages to just get a divorce or have an affair. But that’s very misguided and callous advice. First of all, most women in sexless marriages aren’t interested in a divorce. They love their husbands, but they’re hurt and frustrated by his disinterest in intimacy. Instead of looking for a way to end the marriage, they’re seeking a solution to come closer and have the kind of marriage they’re dreaming of… with the man they love and are already married to.
And having an affair isn’t the answer to a sexless marriage either. If you’re a woman in a sexless marriage, you know that it’s not just sex that you’re after– you want to make love with your husband. Finding someone else to have sex with won’t help you to feel the affection of the person you love the most. So besides the morality issue, having an affair simply won’t give you what you want or need.
But the good news is that you can bring back the love and passion to your marriage. Getting your husband to want to make love again is something that you can do completely on your own– which is a pretty good thing, considering that most husbands who don’t want to have sex with their wives insist that nothing is wrong.
Fixing your sexless marriage is something you– yes, you!– can start doing right away, but the first step is making sure you have a clear understanding of how your marriage got this way to begin with, and what steps you need to take to bring back the passion to your relationship.