With eleven years and three kids invested into our marriage, my husband and I found ourselves at a crossroads. We didn’t even resemble the people we once were. Years of disagreeing on everything from finances to child-rearing to house cleaning had made us bitter and indifferent. We were at a point where we basically just ignored one another. The question was whether or not we could save our marriage from divorce.
Most long-time couples face this question at some point in there relationship. Can you save your marriage from divorce when it seems hopeless? Regardless of the problems that have entered your union, the one approach that succeeds is to focus on each other wholeheartedly. Over time, we, as people, change. Couples need to learn about each other and how each person has changed over time. To save a marriage from divorce, partners must put forth effort to learn who each person has become and what they, as companion, can do to help this person be who they want to be.
No, I’m not saying that each person must now give completely to the other’s needs and wants. This is about excitedly learning about your spouse. Think back to the early days of your relationship. It was thrilling to be with this person. You were eager to talk to them, learn about them and be with them. It was about discovery! To save a marriage from divorce, you need to bring that aspect of your relationship back.
I’m happy to say that my husband and I are more in love than ever! It didn’t happen immediately but when I invested more time in learning about who he is now, I realized what I had been missing was truly having that partner. No, we don’t agree about everything all of the time but part of the fun is the discovery of learning about the other person’s point of view. The desire to discover is what can save a marriage from divorce.