Seeing & Writing

At certain time of Life, under certain conditions of life person can become more sensitive, more sentimental, more impressionable. He gets plunged in his memories and forgets about the reality. A person becomes captured with various memories, which touch his heart and soul. The memories of the childhood, of the family, of parents, of the loved person turn to be very useful, especially for a person, who is in despair, who is on the verge of ruin. Because memories can make a miracle by urging a person on searching the way out of the difficult life situations. Memories make people believe that the life is wonderful and it is worth living. And here I am…. Sitting in front of the fire-place, feeling the tender warmth of the fire…. It is raining outside, rain pattering does not allow me to have a nap. And Im alone in this dull, gloomy depressing evening.

To distract my mind from my cares and to capture some memorable moments I take my old album and start looking through it. There are kept photos of all my life. Opening the album the first photo I see is a baby picture of me. I was two then and I was with my mother holding me and with my dad at a Chinese restaurant. I feel the smile emerges on my face, my heart starts beating. How happy we are on the picture! How young and beautiful my parents are! We enjoy our staying together, we enjoy our life! I feel warmth of my mothers hands… I feel tenderness of her touches… I feel incredible intimacy with her. How I miss this all! I am carried away to my childhood, where I can hear my mothers tender voice, her endearing words, I can see love and care in her eyes. But these are only my memories, only my dreams.

I start feeling loneliness and despair. Im closing my eyes and trying to recollect my mothers touch, embrace, kisses. At this moment I would give everything for only one minute of staying with my mother to take her in my arms, to kiss her, to say “I love you! And then I feel overwhelming desire to write. I have never been so inspired since I started my career as a writer. While stating my thoughts on paper, memories of my dad rush into my mind. I look at the picture. Yes, I have always remembered him such as he is pictured on the photo: smiling, happy, very handsome. He is a wonderful person, he has been an example for me that I have been following all my life. On the picture he folds my mother in his arms, he loves and worships her. Looking at the picture I really admire their love to each other, I have always craved for having such sincere, reliable, trustful relationships with my dear person as my parents have.

My dad has always been a support for me and my mother, he always has been ready to give us any support, help us out, give us a piece of useful advice. I wonder how I manage not to think about them for so long time. I close my eyes and try to imagine my dad: what is he doing now? Does he think about me? Strong desire to see him, to feel the strength of his handshake, the firmness of his voice and real love in his words arises in my heart. And you know, the most terrible thing struck me is that I am not the only person who misses his parent, there are also a lot of people who have to live far from their parents. They miss them greatly and can not change anything in their lives. Its awful but its only my fault that I have not seen my parents for ages.