The Two Vital Conditions That Come Before Love

I’ll explain the two conditions in this article.

Through my career as a pre-marriage counselor it’s been my goal to stop or maybe attempt to avert divorces.

I’ll get to the two conditions in awhile but you must get a feeling for what the conditions are. You already know them but possibly not in this context!

I’ve counseled so many people who chose to ignore the warning till it almost brings me to tears when I recall them. They did not follow the fail safe procedure. Oh yes, there is a fail safe to a bad marriage.

When asked the reason that two people were attracted to each other the predominate answer is that they fell in love with each other. As valid as this answer may seem it’s the wrong answer!

The word love has a myriad of meanings that are used loosely to describe feelings that have very little to do with what love truly is.

One of the strongest, and most concise meanings of the word is found in chapter 13 of the book of Corinthians in the Bible. And, of course there’s no stronger version than the fact that Jesus Christ gave His life for us because He loves us.

So we see that the culmination of the power of love is the willingness to give up our life for   someone  else. This means to honor them when it’s time for love. That timing is vital, but it’s not first.

In Proverbs 3:5 we find that it says – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” Just as that says to trust in the Lord, couples must first learn to trust in each other before they can even discuss love.

Without trust love will never grow! Without trust the couple will never reach a spiritual connection that will sustain them through whatever faces their relationship. And remember we have not gotten to marriage yet. This trust is the first of the two conditions that we started with.

How can you possibly love  someone  when you don’t trust them?

The main focus is to determine this before the marriage vows are spoken. Whenever you have to say “OOPS” it’s already too late to make prudent adjustments.

The second condition is as important as the first. This condition is respect. Respect, unlike love, has a narrow path to follow. Respect allows one to believe that this person will do only things that will culminate in mutual respect.

Have you ever made an offhanded remark to  someone  telling them that you respect them before you get to know them? I’d be willing to bet that you haven’t! You see, you can’t even use the word out of context. It only fits where it’s supposed to fit in strict conditions.

Finally, remember you can’t possibly love  someone  if you don’t trust them. And, likewise you can’t love them if you don’t respect them!

When the time comes, and the decision has been made, stop and do a mental check to see if you’ve covered all the bases. Do you respect them? Do you trust them? Do you love them? Do you honor them? If this check list is complete it’s safe to proceed. However, if you haven’t – your marriage is going downhill with no brakes to stop you. Not a pleasant ride!

This is the way it goes: Trust – Respect – Love. The only two that are interchangeable are the trust and the respect, and the closeness of a relationship will determine which comes first.

But love will never come first or be interchangeable with the other two! I say again, it will never come first, no matter how much you may want it to be.

God Bless You!